Ang Spoken Word Ni Peter

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“He was looking at me
When I lied
He was looking at me
As I denied
that I knew Him
In front of a crowd
My Rabbi
Staring at me from across the courtyard
Surrounded by guards
He was looking at me

And the sound of my betrayal
Bouncing off the walls
A sound all of us
heard
A sound only I
and my Rabbi
understood
If only the rest of them
heard my heart, pounding
The Thunder behind my chest, roaring
This inner storm, raging
They would know
that I was lying

And that despite the words I said
At the back of my head
I remember the first day we met
I remember the sea, my empty nets
my lack of faith, His invitation
I remember abandoning my boat
Without hesitation

And jerusalem was never the same
Since the day he came
He passed by this desert, like rain

He was life, breathed into the air
He was hope, in this city of despair
He was love, where the only thing familiar was law
He was love

He taught us how to love

when
five thousand people were fed
with a few loaves of bread

With the brokenness He mended
Through the words that He said

To Him sinners, were friends
Thieves, forgiven
He called God His father and said we
Are His children

The Sea of Galilee will never be the same
And the waves are shouting my name
Calling me Forgetful Peter

Reminding me of
When He walked on water
When He called me to Himself
When I stepped on liquid floor, and slowly sank
When He reached out His hand

Oh, Galilee,
Home to a thousand hurts He held and healed
I failed to mention, that
I am a fisherman, by profession
But when I met this Man who loved like an ocean

I suddenly forgot how to swim
And I’ve been drowning, ever since

They led him away
He was beaten, mocked and scorned
They placed upon His head, a crown
Of thorns
He bled down the roads
On his way to a cross Where He died

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, crucified

My years out at sea
Did not prepare me
For this calm, after the storm
This devastating silence
After loss
Violent waves of regret hit me
Over and over
And
The shore is not in sight
My light is gone
And unbearable is the night
I want to tell Him I’m sorry
For not being steady
As He said I would be
I am not Peter
Without my cornerstone, I am not a rock
Without Jesus
I am Simon
I am
just
simon

They buried him,
In a rich man’s tomb
And
The days went by like a blur
The rest of us tried to start over
But where do you go
when you lose the way
The truth
And the life

After three days, his tomb was open
Empty
I ran to where He should be
but His body was not there
I wonder
If he said anything about this
I can’t remember
I can’t remember

I did not have a choice
But to return to the life I had before him
Back to my old familiar boat,
My empty nets
Spent all night trying to catch fish
But all I remember was Him telling me to fish
for men
My nets are still empty

I bet if I threw my heart out at sea
It will drown
I will still drown

My thoughts are interrupted
By the command of a man from the shore
He said throw your net on the other side
Surely you’ll catch more

And we did
and I have been here before
And i look to the shore
And I couldn’t believe it

I bet he heard my heart, pounding
This thunder in my chest, roaring
This inner storm, raging
And without hesitation
I abandoned my boat
Left my outer cloak
And all my regrets
Carried my empty heart
My dead heart
And watched it slowly regain a beat
Like a dying ember
Getting closer to the heat

My Lord is alive
The tomb couldn’t keep him inside
His love cannot be contained
His grace cannot be kept inside the grave

His scars show my healing
Despite my offenses
His forgiveness is still winning

I do not know what I ever did to
Deserve a second chance
I look to my Savior
And know I am forever in His hands”

Written by Krizia Almaira Ablaza
Performed by Alfonso Yap III

Ang Usapang Pagbabalik

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Ako: Teh, ano ba ‘to sepanx! Miss na miss ko na yung Bradford family natin. Sabi ni kuya Lanz, there is growth in separation. Bakit di nya sinabing malungkot ang separation?

Jennerz: Oo nga teh, napakasakit pa ng separation na ito.

Ako: Kasalanan to ng ulan napapa emo ako! Pero baka naman kasi naging comfort zone na natin dun

Jennerz: Oo nga teh naging comfort zone na talaga natin pero bakit tayo lang ang nagkaganito? huhu

Ako: Kasi tayo lang yung umalis

Jennerz: Babalik pa kaya tayo dun ano?

Ako: Oo naman teh, Di ko alam kelan pero uuwi at uuwi ka sa mga lugar na minsan mo ng naging tahanan.

Ako: WALANG HIYA ANG DEEP NATIN TEH.

Hindi na ako nireplyan.

Bakit nga ba may sepanx, mga mem?

Kasi deep down inside takot ako, takot ka, takot tayong makalimutan.

Ang Tula ni Jeriboi

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I know of sutures and streets
Of coffee that’s bittersweet
Of photo and those who smile,
Amidst their crooked teeth
Is joy bound to leave?
Or does it stay with those beneath?
Often sought, sometimes found
Joy must be somewhere not around

– Jeremiah Ablaza, 2014

Ito’y isang tula galing sa makata kong kaibigan pagkatapos ng isang coffee session about sa nawawalang joy sa detistry.

Kung nabitin kayo, check out his works here.

Ang Paborito kong Kambal

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Actually, ang title sana ng post na ‘to ay Ang Malaya’t Maligaya at Ang Kapatid nya. Pero parang saling pusa naman yung kapatid. haha

One week ago, humingi ako ng picture kay pareng Krizia para sa birthday greeting ko may napili na kasi akong picture namin ni Jeriboi at kelangan kasing level yung pa art, art para ibigin effect na picture noh. Pero, di ko ginamit dito sa post ko kasi malabo akong tao.

Di ko ma point out kung kailan ako naging close sa dalawang ‘to siguro kagaya na rin ng hindi mo kailangan i point out ang pag inhale at exhale sa tuwing ika’y humihinga. Medyo pa deep ako.dito oh, pang cover up sa pagiging malabo.

Maligayang Kaarawan sa inyong dalawa Pare at Jeriboi!

At dahil bente na kayo, eto ang benteng mga bagay bagay kung bakit Philippians 1:3.

1. Sa mga gabing iginugol sa mga coffee shop, tea house, Jollibee, Mcdo, 7-eleven o kahit sa mga baitang sa gilid ng daan. O anong Ligaya.
2. Sa Team Group Effort. Sa hindi pagharap ng mga problema ng mag-isa.
3. Sa mga madidilim, mapuputik, madudulas na daanang ating nilakad na magkasama.
4. Sa mga street shoot na nakakagutom, nakakapagod pero walang kasing saya.
5. Sa pag test ng patience from time to time. Sa mga panahong naaalala kong ate pala ako. Salamat sa teachable hearts.
6. Sa mga overtime sa office, sa mga frustration sa printer at mga luha ng pagod sa mga “is this your best?” projects at syempre by God’s grace sa mga “best” projects na rin. What a joy to serve with you two.
7. Sa mga baconsilog, malingsilog, sisig take out at sa mga pagkain na nakakabusog sa kaluluwa.
8. Sa mga “we’re not broken just broke” days at pati na rin sa mga “we’re broken and broke” days at Jonah moments.
9. Sa mga Toys R Us at Rustan’s window shopping at sa mga videoke sessions. Sa mga ilang ulit na “umuwi ka na baby”, “you belong with me” at “sundo”. Sa mga awiting naglalabas ng mga salitang di natin mabigkas.
10. Sa mga pa art-art para ibigin. Sa mga TEDx talks, spoken words, Jason Magbanua at Mayad wedding videos. Sa creativity na hindi nyo hinayaan ikulong ko.
11. Sa mga jeepney at taxi rides pauwi. Sa 01K at 14D at sa mga “Kuya, Na ra tay i-drop sa unahan” Sa pagpapaalala na hindi natin tahanan ang mundong ito.
12. Sa mga Chippy na green, Piattos na green, Cheezy na hot & spicy at Lipton Red Tea. Na hindi ko pa rin nakakain ng sabay ulit, dahil iba ang lasa nito kung di Team Group Effort ang kasalo.
13. Sa mga malalakas na tawa at tahimik na pag tulo ng luha. Sa kaligayahan at kalungkutang hindi na kailangan ng mga salita.
14. Sa katahimikang hindi nakakabingi. Sa mga katahimikang hindi nangangailangan ng paliwanag.
15. Sa paglisan at hindi pag bago. Sa pananatiling kung ano kayo, kung ano tayo.
16. Sa paglabas sa comfort zone. Sa mga “kaya mo yan mem”. Sa supporta at pagtulak, sa hindi pag bitaw.
17. Sa pagsama sa hindi naging madaling paghahanap sa nawawalang Joy.
18. Sa mga kinakatakutang ayaw harapin, kinakatakutang hinaharap at kinakatakutang haharapin pa lang.
19. Sa mga sinagot, sinasagot at sasagutin pang mga panalangin.
20. Sa muling pagkikita, sa katiyakan at sabik. Sa paghintay at paniniwala. Sa pag-asang hindi takot umasa’t masaktan.

Muli, maligayang kaarawan sa paborito kong kambal. Mahal at Miss ko na kayo mga Mem!

The One with the #OLANGOsaRehasNaGawaNgPusoMo

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Travel Date: July 21, 2015
Travel Buddies: 3/5 of #TeamGroupEffort

I was planning to blog about the places I’ve been to but then again procrastination is my middle name. Halata naman diba? I’m writing about an 8 month old trip. So, How do I begin?

It was one sunny day. Wait, sunny is an understatement. It was one “bumilad ka ng 10 mins sa araw at tyak masusunog ka” kind of day and of course adventurous kami eh kaya nag bike kami sa isla. Nag bike kami for three hours. Hi pare, Eto na pinakahihintay mo na travel post. HAHA

Teka lang, Tinamad ako bigla. Babalikan ko ‘to, pramis!

Ang Beauty in the Broken

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Just because something is broken doesn’t mean it’s no good. Doesn’t mean you throw it away. It just means it’s broken, and broken is okay. I wanted to tell her that broken is still beautiful, still works, still wakes me in the morning, and at the end of every day past and those to come, I can love broken.

– Maggie, Charles Martin

Ang Pagtakbo

Kailan man hindi naging madali ang pag alis sa mga naiiwan pero sinasabi ko hindi rin naman naging madali ang pag alis para sa mga nangiiwan.

Phlegmatic akong tao. Most of the time manhid. Manhid with feelings. Yung tipong napapansin ko ang mga bagay sa palibot ko, yung maliliit na pagbabago na akala mo hindi ko napapansin, napapansin ko yun. Hindi nga lang ako nagsasalita. Hindi nag rereact.

Ayaw na ayaw ng mga phleg ang changes.

Kaya naman sa halos 3 weeks mula ng bumalik ako dito sa Cebu. Hindi ako nagligpit ng gamit hanggang 3 days before ako aalis. Ala una na ng umaga hindi ko pa nalalagay ang mga natitirang gamit ko sa maleta. Eto ako nag susulat tungkol sa pagiwan.

Bat kasi di ako nag empake kanina no?

Runner kasi ako. Ako yung tipo ng tao na hindi agad agad hinaharap ang mga problema at bagay-bagay. Kung pwede ko muna itong takbuhan, ipagpaliban, kalimutan panandalian, gagawin ko.

Kaya naman kesa harapin ko ang tunay kong nadarama sa last day ko dito. Pinili kong mag photoshoot at mag praise night. One last time, takbuhan yung feeling ng finality sa pagliligpit ng mga natitirang gamit.

Runner ako eh. Paborito ko yung Jonah moments. Bingi-bingihan. Manhid-manhiran. Bulag-bulagan.

Kanina sa paghihiwalay namin ng Team Group Effort, malungkot. Yung tipong ang bigat ng hangin at syempre I did what I do best, tumalikod ako at unti-unting binilisan ang mga hakbang papauwi, tatakbo nanaman sana ako pero wala ng halaga ang pagbilis ng mga hakbang ko, naabutan na ako ng pilit kong tinatakbuhan. Dahil kung sa pabilisan lang, ayun nauna na, nahabol na ako ng mga luha ko.