The One with Growth in Separation

Today, I praise and thank God for growth. Growth together and apart. Growth palpable and unnoticeable. Growth in all kinds and form and yes, even the growing pains.

Thank you Lord for not leaving me the way you found me. 


The One with The Cebu Homecoming 

Last weekend, I flew to Cebu. What a jampacked weekend. The moment the plane landed it was one thing after the other. 


Went directly to the church office nakigulo sa pag design ni Jeriboi ng youth camp poster, had a prenup shoot for #McdoWedding, dinner at yakski and spent quality time tambay sa office. Went home at 2:00 am. 

Went to church in time for the launch and fund raising after the 7:30 service. Went to SM seaside straight from Jmall Service to attend an awarding ceremony and shoot Baby Ayah. Spent nearly 2 hrs at MyBus. Back at church. Dinner at Dimsum.

What a weekend it was. The moment we arrived at abaca for the last night bonding all I want to do was sleep. 

It. was. so. tiring.

But oh boy, my love tank’s full. 

With all the happenings, the catching ups, the shoots, the conversations about lost fires, defeats, things I missed and victories. Of talks about thesis and ministry and Amelia. 

In the middle of all the laughter and smiles and countless warm thight hugs and I miss yous. I am reminded that in the midst of these tired and restless but hopeful and joyful souls, I will always have a home.

On my last few hours with them, I observed them studying and going on with life. I can feel the familiar ache seeping into my heart. The ache of longing for home and I am reminded of the switchfoot lyrics that claims that we don’t belong here and that we will carry a cross and a song where we don’t belong and we’re gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come and just like that this feeling of longing to be together is washed off with the feeling of peace and hope for the future.

I miss you mga mem, Got your backs from miles away, ’til the next welcome home.

The One with the Power Sprayer

Last night I asked my mom to wake me up early so I can exercise. I woke up at 6 am grab a basketball and start shooting hoops. 

After 20 minutes. I gave up kasi madulas yung court puno ng lumot dahil di na nagagamit these past months. 

Instead na mag basketball nagdilig nalang ako ng mga halaman.

Lumabas ako ng hapon para mag basketball sana but I found my dad cleaning the court with a power sprayer. He asked me to shovel some mini canals for the water to drain and sweep as he goes on spraying the cement with pressurized water.

It was messy and in the process I got messy too. Sprayed on with moss, mud and everything in between.

We were trying to clean layers and layers of grime from the floor of the courts. I almost forgot the color of the cement underneath. 

In the middle of it all I saw my dad determined to clean the court. Maybe because he doesn’t want me to slip when playing basketball or maybe just so I wouldn’t have a reason not to work out. Either way he went the extra mile to clean the basketball court when he could just go on sa pagdidilig ng nga halaman nya. 

My dad is a farmer, not afraid to get his hands dirty. He is also a mechanic, not afraid to get grease on his hand. He’s not afraid of the mess. Even if sometimes that mess includes me. He is a farmer and he cultivates me. 

Thank you daddy, for I know that I have someone in my corner willing to scrape off layers of grime with me and doesn’t mind being messy in the process. 

The One with Ctrl + S

So, I forgot to save the file I was working on this afternoon. It’s a web design for our 1st exam on interactive media. Just when you thought thay years of lay-out and editing would make me learn my lesson of pressing ctrl + s as you go along. 
Phlegmatic that I am I didn’t mind losing the file. First, the deadline’s on friday and I still have a lot of time to make  a new one and second, Kuya Aron Wright is…right. “you always build it better the second time around”.
Ctrl + S.
The idea of pressing ctrl + s as you go along with your work is done with the purpose  of retrieval: to reclaim or redeem something in case it get lost.
I can’t help but think of my need to be redeemed, reclaimed and retrieved every single day of my life. 
It easy to forget. 
When life goes on its course and you are forced to run along with it. It’s easy to rush into the race and forget a lot of things. Its easy to get lost in the middle of it all. 
I worked on my exam today to save time. How often do I rush to finish something quickly so I can move on to other tasks. How often do I jump from one project to another and making sure I get to finish it earliest as possible thinking it would save me time and energy. 
I make an effort to save time, energy and money but often times forget the important hings that need a lot of ctrl + s.
I can’t help but think of my need to be redeemed, reclaimed and retrieved every single day of my life. 
It easy to forget.

The One with the Unwritten Quote

Words. What’s more–in evidence of the Divine–we string those symbols together and then write them down, where they take on a life of their own and breathe outside of us. Story is the bandage of the broken. Sutures of the shattered. The tappestry upon which we write our lives. Upon which we lay the bodies of our dying and the about-to-come-to-life. And if it’s honest, true, hind nothing, revealing all, then it is a raging river and those who ride it find they have something to give–that they are not yet empty. 

– Unwritten, Charles Martin

The One with The 2015 Memory

November  2015.

I decided to quit dentistry and was at lost on what to do with my life. Try being a 22 year old at a cross road. Torn between continuing something even though ubos na ubos ka na pero comfortable ka and starting over again, something with joy pero nakakatakot. Kasi hello, 6 years din yung itatapon ko. Kasi hello, may mga judgemental talaga na mga tao. Kasi hello, ang gastos!!!

November 2017.

I just finished shooting a short film. I just want to give give my 22 year old self an knowing look and a pat in the back. Well, there are still days na gusto ko tumakbo uli sa dentistry just because it’s comfortable. Kasi hello, may moments na ayaw ko pa rin humarap sa mga tao. Kasi hello, may mga judgemental pa rin na mga tao. Pero hello, mas masaya dito. Hello, nakakatakot man magsimula muli pero worth it din ang lumabas sa comfort zone. 

The One With The Message In Song

Dili sayon ang pagsunod kang Kristo
Daghang tunok ang dalan nga agian mo
Bug-at ang krus nga pas-anon mo
Ug kamatayon naa maghulat kanimo


Moved by the sight of our outreach pastor singing this song together with one member of his local church, they went down the mountains to join us for our Good Friday service. Only two of them sang but the song echoed through the place and pierced my soul. Every word rings true.