Words. What’s more–in evidence of the Divine–we string those symbols together and then write them down, where they take on a life of their own and breathe outside of us. Story is the bandage of the broken. Sutures of the shattered. The tappestry upon which we write our lives. Upon which we lay the bodies of our dying and the about-to-come-to-life. And if it’s honest, true, hind nothing, revealing all, then it is a raging river and those who ride it find they have something to give–that they are not yet empty.
– Unwritten, Charles Martin
I decided to quit dentistry and was at lost on what to do with my life. Try being a 22 year old at a cross road. Torn between continuing something even though ubos na ubos ka na pero comfortable ka and starting over again, something with joy pero nakakatakot. Kasi hello, 6 years din yung itatapon ko. Kasi hello, may mga judgemental talaga na mga tao. Kasi hello, ang gastos!!!
I just finished shooting a short film. I just want to give give my 22 year old self an knowing look and a pat in the back. Well, there are still days na gusto ko tumakbo uli sa dentistry just because it’s comfortable. Kasi hello, may moments na ayaw ko pa rin humarap sa mga tao. Kasi hello, may mga judgemental pa rin na mga tao. Pero hello, mas masaya dito. Hello, nakakatakot man magsimula muli pero worth it din ang lumabas sa comfort zone.
Finally figured out anong email address na ginamit ko for this blog at syempre nag password reset. Lakas maka new beginnings.
Andaming thoughts at kwento sa drafts ko pero di ko pa ginagalaw. Balang araw.
Saturday: I asked my dad to buy me something that I would be needing sa school knowing that next month pa schedule nya mag harvest sa farm at medyo gipit, may back up plan ako on how to comply my exams if wala pang budget to buy it.
Monday: Binili ako ni Daddy
How my dad provides for my need reminds me of my heavenly Father and how many good gifts have I missed just because I lack faith in asking and always settle for my back up plans.
Some friends would find it easy to ask for a favor from me, mainly because I’m a yes (wo)man…and maybe because I do it for free. (sanay sa free lunch, mem)
There are also friends who would only message me if they needed me to do something for them, some would start with the usual “uy kamusta?” others well, diretso sa utos at pag na send mo na yung pinagawa rereplyan ka lang ng “👍”! AWUW.
Actually, last week pa ng huli akong mautusan ngayon ko lang na realize na ayyyy na taken for granted ako, na hurt ako ng slight. Slight lang, na over power pa rin ng pagka phlegmatic ko.
Napatanong ako sa sarili ko bakit may mga tao na ang hirap hingan ng favor at sila naman naka subscribe ata sa UNLIFAVORMAYA999.
If gagamitin mo ‘yong mga kaya mong gawin para sa tao sa palibot mo na guage sa kakayahan nilang ibalik eto sayo eh hindi na yun service, economics na yun.
So if hihingan ako ulit ng favor, malamang gagawin ko pa rin kasi hello! mas masaya kaya mag serve kesa mag kwenta ng kurba ng supply at demand.
Dili sayon ang pagsunod kang Kristo
Daghang tunok ang dalan nga agian mo
Bug-at ang krus nga pas-anon mo
Ug kamatayon naa maghulat kanimo
Moved by the sight of our outreach pastor singing this song together with one member of his local church, they went down the mountains to join us for our Good Friday service. Only two of them sang but the song echoed through the place and pierced my soul. Every word rings true.